The Good, The Bad and The Flabby

This weekend was a roller coaster for me. On Saturday Deb had a little get together with yummy food, tons of beer and good friends of ours. I had to wait until G woke up from a nap so I could feed, hose off, dress and pack him up to go 4 houses down. It's unbelievable the forethought and maneuvering it takes just to get out the front door these days! So we finally get there, drag all of our junk and entire stroller up two flights of stairs and get ready to party on down...or not. Grayson was just not content and a bit fussy the whole time. I kept trying to get into the groove and have a good time hanging out with friends but it's kinda hard to when you have a 7 month old moaning & groaning the entire time. I felt like I could not even keep a train of thought flowing through my head and out of my mouth because I had to constantly keep G entertained to keep him from crying. I finally gave up around 7:00 (after several attempts to pass him off to daddy watching golf in the Man Cave). I took the little man and all his stuff back down the hill for a bath, storybook and good night's sleep. I was feeling strangely afterward or maybe just torn over my feelings. Part of me was annoyed and frustrated that I couldn't just hang out for one night with some friends and have an adult conversation over a beer and the other part of me just wanted to get home with my little guy so he could settle down and we could snuggle up for the night. I have a feeling I will struggle with this for awhile until I find a happy median with my new mommy role. Anyway, it was good to see everyone for a bit and we did get an amazing cross stitched picture for the nursery from his "Aunt" Casey...loves it! Better luck next time:)

On the other hand, we woke up this morning in a fabulous mood. I actually BAKED peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies...before noon...from scratch;) Crazy huh? I felt great, Grayson was back on schedule and my happy cuddly baby he normally is and we made it out the door without forgetting a thing to go see his new girlfriend on time. Ava is beautiful...probably the prettiest baby girl I have ever seen at her ripe ol' age of 9 days! We brought over flowers, cookies and a sweet little onesie I made for my future daughter in law. The babies spent a little floor time together and Grayson couldn't keep his hands off of her. He kept reaching over to her to rub her arm or put his hand on her chest...it was SO stinkin cute. I actually got a little teary eyed to see our little ones side by side*Imsuchawussnow*. Life is just funny...one minute you're wobbling back to your dorm room in 5 inch heels and backless "shirts" as the sun comes up and the next you're staring down at your two babies lying next to each other on a play mat. Soooo strange but in a good way really. Grayson was great today and it was just a nice day all around for us.  I hope he is as tolerable this weekend while we are in The Grip for a few days visiting a bunch of loved ones.

So to make a long story short(er) I am still coming to grips with my new role but some days are better than others. It's hard being the only one with a baby out of the core group of friends you have been hanging out with for the past 5 years. Sometimes it sucks...majorly...but sometimes it is great. I guess it all balances out.

On an entirely different note ...can this heat PLEASE go kick rocks? I am dying to get outside and do some walking with G. He needs some fresh air and I need some exercise...badly. He is 7 months old and I am still carrying around an extra 45-50 pounds on my tiny frame (not all of it is from the baby folks!). I feel gross, I look gross and I am tired of it. Every day I have to put on real clothes instead of pjs I almost end up in tears. I have been smoking alot lately too which is making me feel like crap as well. I need to quit. Again. I seriously need to try and salvage some of my youth and physical appearance before I hit the Point of No Return *echo echo echo*  and I'm close. I keep having flashes of showing up at the grocery store in size 22 bleach splattered sweatpants and worn out house shoes, riding one of those motorized carts, the aisles echoing with my smoker's hack!! Don't lie...you know you've seen these folks...I have! I just simply can not go on this way any longer:) My back has been killing me a lot lately too...this bone structure was not made to support this much weight!! I know I know...quit whining and do something about it. I am...it's on the To Do List...sigh:) I have never wanted the Fall to get here so quickly in my whole life or craved the outdoors so strongly. Fingers crossed for a longer autumn and a milder winter than I think we are going to have!

On a happier note, some photos from today!:

Love at first sight...ahhhhh:)! SO adorable, these two!