Sunday, September 26, 2010

Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken

I ran across these words today. It's surreal how someone so small can change your entire being just by existing. I never understood it, I don't suppose anyone can until they experience it for themselves. I didn't plan on becoming a mother or really have the desire to become one but now I wouldn't trade my life for anyones. I have given up my career, my independence, my social life, my friends, my body (lol), hell even my credit score haha! But I would not change a thing. I wouldn't give up one second I've spent with my little guy for a million vacations or road trips or festivals or everything I used to love doing before he came into my life.

Before I was a mom I forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations. Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

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